And, yet, there is another approach. It’s the idea of seeing anxiety through a lens of gentle acceptance, almost like it’s your old friend, who has come for a visit again. While you may not find yourself excited for this “visitor” to be here, you welcome her anyway.

Overwhelmed. Uncertain. Afraid. Frozen. Avoidant. Anxious. Many of us—at one time or another—can perhaps relate to these descriptors when it comes to talking to children about hard things. And while there are certainly times professional counseling may benefit children, it does not mean that only a counselor can speak into emotional or uncomfortable territory.

And, yet, the resentment is there…under the surface—like a simmering cauldron. You are sad, hurt, disappointed, and/or angry. It may not be long until you feel yourself about to explode. And you feel this way often as it happens over and over again.

One source of this pattern of resentfulness and even anger may often be EXPECTATIONS.

From time to time many of us may find ourselves thinking about counseling and whether or not it might benefit us. We may find ourselves wrestling with the idea. This internal self-talk may sound something like this:

Is counseling really for me? Is something wrong with me? If I go to a counselor, does this mean that I am not strong enough on my own?

In this way, self-care is less about this BIG thing that we do and more about small ways that we can integrate self-care into our days.

Ask Yourself: What can I do throughout the day to put myself in a calmer place, so that I can keep pouring out and keep connecting?

Graduation marks something significant. It’s a period-- marking your growth, efforts, discipline, and achievement. It’s the ending of one chapter, and yet it is not an ending in and of itself. It beckons towards what is to become.

Many days the energy required to stay safe and take care of basic needs takes precedence right now over the higher aspirations in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs--- love and belonging, esteem, and self-actualization.

This is hard. No doubt. Let’s give grace towards ourselves when it feels like too much. Let’s give grace to each other. Prioritize basic needs like sleep and nutrition. You have to be filled up in order to pour out.

I want to encourage you to consider your own river of well-being. For those of you who are parents, consider your children’s river of well-beings as well. What do you need to remain in the flow during this time? What do they need? I believe our children are more likely to access that place of well-being if we are in that place ourselves.

You know those times when it just all feels like too much? Like you just want to crawl in bed and stay there? Or crawl down in a hole and curl up and be left alone? During these times the lack of sleep maybe is leaving you with a cumulative sense of exhaustion that envelops you, the isolation is taking its toll, and the grief leaves you devastated and heartbroken.

As we as a society walk through the pandemic of the Coronavirus, we all face challenges that leave us in a vulnerable place emotionally, mentally, and for many, financially.

While it is hard to imagine that flourishing and thriving are even possible right now when most of us are understandably in a survival mode, there are stances that we can take that put us in a posture of hope and movement forward through this challenging time.

Even speaking and hearing the word “boundaries” brings up a host of reactions in many of us. In fact, many people are simply not comfortable with the term. If it feels awkward to even talk about setting boundaries, it can feel even more difficult to actually set boundaries. Not only can it feel uncomfortable, but for many of us it actually feels mean and heartless to even consider setting a boundary. In this way, the assertive action of setting boundaries often is interpreted as aggression.

In all things, a journey through grief is not easy, linear, or straight-forward. There are days of great darkness, and yet buried in there are often cracks of light.

This invites us to reflect on who are my circles around me? What kind of people do I surround myself with and how do they influence me? Are they kind? Are they trustworthy? Do I feel good about myself when I am with them? Am I accepted, encouraged, and challenged in their presence? Can I be myself?

Adventures, big and small, tend to breathe life into people. While there is such a place for daily routines and predictable rhythms which ground us, there is also a place for adventure.

Many of these life adjustments usher in great joy and gratitude and the knowledge that we do not live stagnant lives as we are ever changing and growing. Yet, some of these adjustments bring on seasons of grief and mourning as we at some point in our journeys find ourselves adjusting to loss and having to say goodbye to a loved one. We also may find ourselves adjusting to realizing some of our dreams have not been realized and that life has taken a different course than we hoped for.

There is great freedom in beginning to understand that while decisions matter, so does the journey. Even if our original decisions end up not being the lasting course that we stick to, they are not made in vain.

For those in a care-taking role of children, aging parents, or even a spouse or sibling dealing with a disease or disability, the needs are ever around you, always beckoning. In this way, you may find yourself constantly in a stress response yourself--experiencing anxiety and a sense of being overwhelmed almost all the time.