When the Darkness Feels like too Much
Having just had a baby just a few weeks before the time of the Coronavirus hit home, I have found myself thinking about the postpartum experience, the Coronavirus experience, and just times of darkness and heaviness in our own lives.
You know those times when it just all feels like too much? Like you just want to crawl in bed and stay there? Or crawl down in a hole and curl up and be left alone? During these times the lack of sleep maybe is leaving you with a cumulative sense of exhaustion that envelops you, the isolation is taking its toll, and the grief leaves you devastated and heartbroken.
This is hard. No doubt that it’s hard. Sometimes being at home and alone feels life-giving, refreshing, and quiet. Other times the walls close in, and we long to get out and engage with the world and our community with joy and energy, but it all just feels so heavy and difficult. Or we can’t because we need to stay home to protect others.
If you are finding yourself in this kind of place right now, you are not alone. There are times in our lives that feel dark and when we do not feel like ourselves. We feel so overwhelmed by even the most mundane. We wonder how we are going to make it.
I want to encourage you to lean in to the idea of one step at a time and one day at a time. All we are called to right now is to walk through today, and that means showing up for today.
If you can identify with this, I want to encourage you to think about implementing a rule of ONES. One step at a time means getting out of that bed. It means taking a few minutes to fix yourself something to eat. It means one shower, one time of getting dressed for the day. It means taking one walk or engaging in one other type of exercise. It means giving one hug, one smile. It may mean listening to one song, praying one prayer, and talking to one support person--whether in person or virtually.
What you may find is that as you take one step forward, your heart, body, and spirit are replenished just a little, so that you can have a little more energy for that next one step.
And you may ultimately find that with your commitment to take one step forward, you surprise yourself by seeing that you are able to get out of bed, care-take for those that need your care, sacrifice your typical daily life rhythms for the protection of people’s lives, and face the loneliness, chaos, and emotions that reign down on you.
In this way, while the darkness feels real and tangible, it does not have to have the last word. Each step you take towards light, beckons more light.
If you find yourself in a space where the darkness is not shifting and you continue to not feel like yourself, don’t hesitate to reach out for support. Numerous counselors have worked to be available virtually, while upholding social distancing.
Elizabeth B. Burton is a licensed professional counselor and life coach with Burton Counseling, PLLC. Elizabeth lives just outside of Chattanooga, TN.; you can learn about Elizabeth here and about services provided here. Elizabeth also provides support to individuals and groups through an online course on Coping with Anxiety & Stress and through providing workshops and speaking opportunities. Elizabeth communicates about mental health and well-being through both the Narrating Hope newsletter and podcast as well as through her writing. Elizabeth would love to connect with you and welcomes you to sign up for the newsletter, listen in to the podcast, reach out about working together, and connect on social media.