Self-Care during a Time of Global Crisis
As we as a society walk through the pandemic of the Coronavirus, we all face challenges that leave us in a vulnerable place emotionally, mentally, and for many, financially. To hear more reflections on a lens of self-care from an integrated perspective, listen here:
While it is hard to imagine that flourishing and thriving are even possible right now when most of us are understandably in a survival mode, there are stances that we can take that put us in a posture of hope and movement forward through this challenging time.
Consider loneliness from the framework of solitude. This time requires all of us to step out of typical physical, social connectedness which can easily reinforce a sense of being alone and isolated. As much as you can, reframe the loneliness you might be experiencing as a time to remember your value, identity, and worth as being secure even when you are by yourself. In this way, solitude can be a place of strength and reflection, a time when creativity is generated, a time of believing that you are enough.
Be creative in connecting. Even while we can not physically socialize like we are accustomed to, we can find ways to connect with each other. We can reach out through technology to see and hear each other, we can write letters, etc. If you are at home every day and hardly leaving your home, be intentional and connect with someone outside of your home most every day.
Learn something new. If you find yourself drawn towards fear and anxiety often and having some extra time on your hands, consider viewing the time as a gift and engage your mind and/or body in learning a new craft, hobby, language, or skill. When we do this, we help broaden our neural pathways to focus on other trains of thought instead of obsessing over our worries. This is not saying that your feelings do not matter, but at some point we all need to shift gears.
Create a rhythm to your days moreso than a rigid schedule. Particularly if you are at home with children, while also seeking to work from home, seek to put the most important things in place for each day, and yet be flexible with how the days flow. If it is gorgeous outside, consider letting you and/or your kids work, read, and play outside. If your children are playing really well together and being creative in their play, consider giving them more time to play while you get some of your own work done before you circle back to their school work.
Surrender what is out of your control. As much as you can, approach what you can not control with a posture of holding it lightly rather than gripping it so tightly. This is an unprecedented time and like nothing we have ever experienced. As much as you can, try not to dwell on the fear and worst case scenarios other than letting it inspire what you can actually control--like staying at home and making the best of being at home.
Focus on what you can control. Like the famous Serenity Prayer, press into what you can control. For many of us this is our home environment right now as we self distance and stay at home. Consider making your home as pleasant and life-giving as possible. One way to do this is considering the five senses.
What smells make you feel more calm? Consider simmering orange peel, cinnamon, and cloves on the stove or baking or cooking something that makes being home feel nurturing and warm. Essential oils and candles may have a similar effect. Lavender, particularly, can be calming and encourage a reduction in stress. Even something as simple as lavender lotion is calming.
What sounds do you hear? Listening to music that calms, energizes, and encourages you can go a long way in making home feel better right now. Consider changing the music and sounds based on what you are doing at the time. Calm music for focusing on school and work, and fun, energizing music for a dance party break or for everyone pitching in and cleaning up (this is especially helpful with kids!). Sounds from nature--birds, ocean waves, etc. may be another way to reinforce your sense of well-being during this time.
What do you see? Consider taking some time each day to watch something beautiful, inspiring, calming, etc. Get outside in nature if you can. If you can not get outside on a given day, consider watching something incredible on the t.v. or internet as there is much that can be accessed right now in the way of nature and art. Consider what you love and surround yourself with the sight of those things. If you are away from loved ones, keep their pictures around you.
What tastes do you enjoy? If there’s ever a time to make some new recipes or old favorites, it’s now. Consider food that nurtures you with nutrients and energy as well as food and drinks that taste good.
What do you feel? If you live alone, this can be a particularly challenging time as we all avoid hugs and physical proximity to each other, but if you share your home with others, continue to show nurturing and affection. Hug your kids and family members and remind them that they are secure and loved even when their whole world is changing around them. This may also translate into other things such as the feel of a warm bath or hot shower or the feel of making bread, working in the yard, etc.
Elizabeth B. Burton is a licensed professional counselor and life coach with Burton Counseling, PLLC. Elizabeth lives just outside of Chattanooga, TN.; you can learn about Elizabeth here and about services provided here. Elizabeth also provides support to individuals and groups through an online course on Coping with Anxiety & Stress and through providing workshops and speaking opportunities. Elizabeth communicates about mental health and well-being through both the Narrating Hope newsletter and podcast as well as through her writing. Elizabeth would love to connect with you and welcomes you to sign up for the newsletter, listen in to the podcast, reach out about working together, and connect on social media.