Small Steps towards Self-Care
Whether you are in a professional helping role or a parent or caretaker or all of the above, one thing we all have in common is that we are continuously helping and responding to the needs of those around us. For many of us, this desire to help, to nurture, to serve others is what drew us to vocations of significant purpose and meaning, yet somewhere along the way you may find yourself having gotten fatigued or even burned out. For many of us, the jobs demand most hours of our day, and even if we are not physically at our jobs, the weight of the needs of others still call to us in our time away from work. For those in a care-taking role of children, aging parents, or even a spouse or sibling dealing with a disease or disability, the needs are ever around you, always beckoning.
In this way, you may find yourself constantly in a stress response yourself--experiencing anxiety and a sense of being overwhelmed almost all the time. You may experience stress over basic everyday tasks such as preparing meals, getting enough sleep, or even finding time to take a shower. Exercise, time with friends, and hobbies may become a pipe-dream as you are so drained and feel like you have nothing left to give. You may find yourself completely in a “survival mode,” showing up each day, yet not thriving, not fully yourself, drained instead of refreshed.
While we want to uphold the meaning and the calling of helping and serving others, we have to become people who can do this and fulfill our calling in a sustainable way. We have to make a cognitive shift from viewing self-care as a luxury to viewing it as vital.
Some of us have more margin and resources to more readily take steps for self-care. That being said, even with barriers of time and resources, self-care is available for all of us. Instead of being optional, perhaps it is as important as breathing. In order to pour out, we have to have something to pour.
Even in small ways, we can all move towards a place of taking care of ourselves better, so that we can be more effective and sustained in our giving and pouring out. Reflect for a minute on how you are doing. Are you thriving or simply surviving? Do you feel mostly in a state of calm and peace or like you are ready to put out a fire at any moment? Are you responsive to the needs of those around you or simply emotionally reacting?
If you can relate to a true sense of being worn out, burned out, and not feeling like your best self, maybe it’s time to pause, reflect, and move towards some action.
Actionable steps may be big, but they can also be baby steps. Babies learn to walk typically by making tentative steps as they search for solid ground and beginning to trust that they are capable of walking. What direction do you want to move? What can a baby step be for you to move in this direction?
Elizabeth B. Burton is a licensed professional counselor and life coach with Burton Counseling, PLLC. Elizabeth lives just outside of Chattanooga, TN.; you can learn about Elizabeth here and about services provided here. Elizabeth also provides support to individuals and groups through an online course on Coping with Anxiety & Stress and through providing workshops and speaking opportunities. Elizabeth communicates about mental health and well-being through both the Narrating Hope newsletter and podcast as well as through her writing. Elizabeth would love to connect with you and welcomes you to sign up for the newsletter, listen in to the podcast, reach out about working together, and connect on social media.