Sometimes we know clearly what opportunities lie before us, but most of the time we are enveloped in a veil of uncertainty which can make walking forward anxiety provoking. So much of life’s journey and mitigating anxiety is really about becoming okay with uncertainty.

For a long time now I have been writing and sharing about self-care of a deeper sort. As nice as manicures, massages, and hair highlights are, there is a deeper part of us that longs for and needs nurturing. This extends beyond caring for our physical bodies, though that’s important too. It’s about attunement and nurturing of our whole selves–body, emotions, mind, and spirit.

Yet, her question stuck with me, like holding up a mirror. Am I making space to take care of myself? How can I make room to read because it is something I so enjoy? How is my own mental health and wellness?

A theme that comes up in my work often is that of paying attention to what is life-giving. When something is life-giving, it has the power to refresh us, to energize us, to relax us, to inspire us, to grow us, to nurture us.

Secure attachment is certainly worth striving for, yet how do we aspire without feeling pressure to be perfect and get everything just right? Pressure and perfection are such pervasive themes among parents in our culture today that it can be hard not to assume even more pressure towards perfection and feel even more overwhelmed by bringing up this topic.

Attachment is formed early in our lives, highlighting the significant role that parents and caretakers have in connecting securely with their own children, yet the good news is that just because attachment is formed early, we do not have to be stuck in relationship patterns. There is hope for healing, insight, growth, change, and practice, so that more healthy attachment becomes the norm. In essence, moving towards secure attachment is always available and accessible. The invitation is there. It is possible.

As the year draws to a close, I wanted to share a few thoughts on self-compassion. Self-compassion is about practicing gentleness and kindness to yourself. This manifests as more grace and less judgement towards yourself as with awareness of that inner critic and voice, comes the opportunity to reframe the narrative towards what is true.

As we enter the holidays, images abound around us that capture our ideals of how we want holidays to be and look in our homes and lives. Matching dresses, coordinating stockings, gourmet meals, beautifully wrapped presents, and while these things are so lovely, it can be helpful to keep before us what matters most.

I love the concept of presence instead of perfection. When we value presence more, it goes a long way in taking the pressure off and grounding us in what really matters.

Holistic wellness is about the whole person. Just as our bodies are comprised of various systems and limbs, and we function best when our whole body is accepted, nurtured, and well, so it is with holistic wellness. We are complex human beings, and by acknowledging and caring for the whole, we are more likely to experience growth as a whole person.