So much of our lives are focused on checklists, productivity, responsibilities, and things we need to accomplish. All of these things typically are purposeful, and it certainly feels great to check things off and feel like we are moving forward whether at work or around the home or more broadly with life goals. Yet, sometimes we go about this focus with tunnel vision at the expense of ourselves.

Grief touches our lives and pierces our hearts in various ways. Traditionally, grief is interpreted as loss through death, yet the reality of grief is that it can be over so many different things. Often these losses have nothing to do with death and yet may be incredibly profound yearnings for what was or what could have been. The term “living grief” is helpful for being able to name and validate such losses. In exploring the concept of living grief, we name the less tangible. This helps us to make sense of things.

Play brings about laughter and connection. Play integrates bodies and minds. Play connects people with one another, whether spouses, families, friends, or teams. Play is good for our nervous systems, encouraging us to not be on such high alert all the time. Play evokes wonder and our imaginations, a sense of creativity, and perhaps a belief that all things are possible.

What does it feel like to be you in terms of the inner narrative that you hear in your head? Do you feel accepted and well with your body and with your internal state? Or are you rejecting yourself or parts of yourself as not good enough, not worthy, insufficient, incapable, not measuring up, or even bad or shameful?

That’s where self-compassion is transformative. In essence it’s turning that compassion that we can often feel more naturally towards others towards ourselves. It’s our ability to accept ourselves, nurture, and receive ourselves with kindness.

Attachment is formed early in our lives, highlighting the significant role that parents and caretakers have in connecting securely with their own children, yet the good news is that just because attachment is formed early, we do not have to be stuck in relationship patterns. There is hope for healing, insight, growth, change, and practice, so that more healthy attachment becomes the norm. In essence, moving towards secure attachment is always available and accessible. The invitation is there. It is possible.

As we enter the holidays, images abound around us that capture our ideals of how we want holidays to be and look in our homes and lives. Matching dresses, coordinating stockings, gourmet meals, beautifully wrapped presents, and while these things are so lovely, it can be helpful to keep before us what matters most.

I love the concept of presence instead of perfection. When we value presence more, it goes a long way in taking the pressure off and grounding us in what really matters.

It is so good to long for good things. Ideals are purposeful and not to be dismissed. Should we not strive for peace, kindness, order, and love in our homes and in the world? Yet, what do we do with the continual dynamic of facing the reality of what is when our ideals are not manifested? ...When our ideals do not come to fruition...when we are left with pain and deep, deep disappointment, heartbreak, grief, and despair.