Facing Anxiety Head On through Problem Solving
Recently I shared about receiving anxiety with gentle acceptance as being one way to cope with anxiety, so that the anxiety itself does not lead to greater anxiety and fear. While this is a foundational strategy for coping with anxiety, there are other more action-oriented strategies and tools to use for putting anxiety in its proper place.
One primary strategy for coping with anxiety is that of problem solving through the anxiety. The problem solving approach may be most effective when anxiety itself is felt more minimally, so in a sense, you are problem solving ahead of time for the next time anxiety manifests itself. Being in this calm place is key because we are able to reflect on anxiety triggers and think through consequences and the future much better from this calm place.
Problem solving allows you to tackle the anxiety “head on” in a sense. There is no avoiding or denying here as it helps to name and acknowledge specifically what makes you anxious rather than deny, squelch, or avoid the anxiety. If there are numerous things that make you anxious, consider starting with one specific anxiety trigger.
In this way you can problem solve through one anxiety trigger at a time, so that the anxiety itself feels more manageable instead of just a massive heap of anxiety that you cannot begin to make sense of. It’s kind of like anxiety itself is a big ball of yarn, and as you untangle the massive ball of yarn, you address one section of string at a time, making it more concrete and not so overwhelming.
If you are having trouble knowing where to start and yet you know that you are in a place where you are ready to tackle problem solving through some anxiety, make a quick list of anxiety triggers for you. For every person the top things that come to mind will vary, but some examples include —
the stress you feel Sunday evening thinking about the work week ahead
what to make for dinner each evening
the pressure you feel about the family finances
your child’s bed-wetting each night and how worried you are over whether they will ever stop
you desire time with friends, yet don’t know how to make time to see people with all that you are balancing
the messy, messy house—no matter where you look there is so much to do
your health or the health of someone you love, etc.
Once your list is made, it’s time to get more specific. Pick one area that you are anxious about to start with. You may want to pick the one that is the mildest in anxiety intensity because it might be the easiest to begin to problem solve with. It may be that addressing the simplest anxiety trigger is what will give you the most momentum with your problem solving.
It helps to either circle this starting point or even consider cutting it out from the list and turning the rest of the list over or away from sight, so that all that you focus on is the one concrete anxiety trigger before you.
Now—take some deep breaths to ensure that you are still in a calm place. Sometimes making the anxiety list is calming in and of itself as you get the triggers out of your head and onto paper. Other times it is triggering to see the whole list as it is so overwhelming. Hence, the importance of then focusing on only one thing on your list per each problem solving session.
You have identified your anxiety trigger, and you are ready to problem solve. Now it’s time to get creative. Casting the net as wide as you can using a new sheet of paper, jot down any possible ideas you have of what might help. Try to quiet your inner critic during this time, so that you are putting everything you can think of onto your list instead of saying to yourself “that won’t work” and limiting your ideas.
If you choose to problem solve about the messy house, then brainstorm as many ideas as you can about what might make your home feel better. This may range from:
letting go of such high standards and embracing some chaos
to arranging for some help with your home
to decluttering so that there is less stuff to clean up
to just beginning to make beds each day as a starting point
When you are ready read back through your list of ideas and then consider which ideas might appeal to you the most. Then pick one or two as your action points. You now have effectively strategized and problem solved through anxiety. You can now begin to put these one or two strategies into action. Over time if they do not work well, circle back to your list and try some other ideas.
When an anxiety trigger is something not quite so tangible as a messy house, it may be more challenging to problem solve through, but even pressing into coping skills and how you might cope with this trigger can be helpful (think coping skills like deep breaths, taking a quick walk, going to drink a glass of water, grounding exercises, etc).
Facing fears and worries head on like this is one significant strategy for helping them loosen their power. In this way, it’s kind of like you have taken this massive black cloud that is so formidable and broken it up in a way that makes you more adept at taking action because it is not so overwhelming.
Tackling one problem at a time allows for movement and momentum of anxiety and the hold it has over you. This goes a long way in beginning to reinforce a new mindset around anxiety that empowers you as someone who knows how to cope with it.
Elizabeth B. Burton is a licensed professional counselor and life coach with Burton Counseling, PLLC. Elizabeth lives just outside of Chattanooga, TN.; you can learn about Elizabeth here and about services provided here. Elizabeth also provides support to individuals and groups through an online course on Coping with Anxiety & Stress and through providing workshops and speaking opportunities. Elizabeth communicates about mental health and well-being through both the Narrating Hope newsletter and podcast as well as through her writing. Elizabeth would love to connect with you and welcomes you to sign up for the newsletter, listen in to the podcast, reach out about working together, and connect on social media.