Not only is that not true, but maybe there's an alternative narrative. Something like, “I'm a person of worth and value, and there's a seat at the table for me, and I'm allowed to take up some space. I'm allowed to have a voice and to show up as I am.” Not based on my accomplishments or my accolades or my productivity or my appearance or the size of my body or the state of my bank account, my relationship status, my ability to play sports or to cook a good meal or to have a beautifully decorated home or really, really nice clothes. None of that is related to that inherent worthiness. It is a given. It is a non negotiable in a world that maybe doesn't tell us that. And so we have to work to cultivate that for ourselves.

And so however this lands with you today, I just want to encourage you to think about it, to get curious, to pause, to be reflective. What makes you feel like a person and are you making space for that? Are you leaning into that? Are you giving yourself permission to nurture and care for yourself? This ties into the larger concept of soul care. It encourages well-being and it also really connects to identity and can be, like I said, very rooting and grounding in difficult times.

But this question is really asking about where am I taking on extra weight when it's not mine to carry? Where am I feeling extra responsibility or burden to fix something or to change something or to solve something?

But anytime someone moves to a new town or goes through any kind of major life change, some of the dynamics that can occur are that there can be a lot of loneliness. And again, even in the best of changes, it can feel so jolting that it's like, Who are my people? Am I alone? Am I connected? How do I feel?

A concept that comes up a lot in the counseling world is just really noticing, even in your body, if you feel heavier and weighted down or if you feel lighter. And often with that lighter kind of dynamic comes more of a sense of freedom and more of a sense of encouragement kind of being lifted. And when that happens, it's just such a gift. And so, again, pay attention to your friendships. Which ones because of their kindness, because of their authenticity, because of how much they care for you and how they encourage you, refresh you on a soul level?