We know that well-being is more complex than how we feel in our homes, yet we also can acknowledge that it plays a part. With so many things outside of our control, our homes are a place we can usually influence. How can you impact how you feel in your own home? What makes your home more life-giving to you--either relationally or practically?

Sometimes we know clearly what opportunities lie before us, but most of the time we are enveloped in a veil of uncertainty which can make walking forward anxiety provoking. So much of life’s journey and mitigating anxiety is really about becoming okay with uncertainty.

For a long time now I have been writing and sharing about self-care of a deeper sort. As nice as manicures, massages, and hair highlights are, there is a deeper part of us that longs for and needs nurturing. This extends beyond caring for our physical bodies, though that’s important too. It’s about attunement and nurturing of our whole selves–body, emotions, mind, and spirit.

When we can name our priorities and let go of some other things, we are more likely to experience margin, which is the equivalent of taking a breath. Margin does not happen by accident; typically we have to claim it through setting boundaries and acknowledging our limits.

Yet, her question stuck with me, like holding up a mirror. Am I making space to take care of myself? How can I make room to read because it is something I so enjoy? How is my own mental health and wellness?

A theme that comes up in my work often is that of paying attention to what is life-giving. When something is life-giving, it has the power to refresh us, to energize us, to relax us, to inspire us, to grow us, to nurture us.

Play brings about laughter and connection. Play integrates bodies and minds. Play connects people with one another, whether spouses, families, friends, or teams. Play is good for our nervous systems, encouraging us to not be on such high alert all the time. Play evokes wonder and our imaginations, a sense of creativity, and perhaps a belief that all things are possible.

What does it feel like to be you in terms of the inner narrative that you hear in your head? Do you feel accepted and well with your body and with your internal state? Or are you rejecting yourself or parts of yourself as not good enough, not worthy, insufficient, incapable, not measuring up, or even bad or shameful?

That’s where self-compassion is transformative. In essence it’s turning that compassion that we can often feel more naturally towards others towards ourselves. It’s our ability to accept ourselves, nurture, and receive ourselves with kindness.

Do you ever feel overwhelmed? Or perhaps more like you live in a constant state of overwhelm? This may show up as feeling like you can hardly take a breath or like your head is barely above water. This may feel like you are treading water, but not getting anywhere.

Secure attachment is certainly worth striving for, yet how do we aspire without feeling pressure to be perfect and get everything just right? Pressure and perfection are such pervasive themes among parents in our culture today that it can be hard not to assume even more pressure towards perfection and feel even more overwhelmed by bringing up this topic.

As the year draws to a close, I wanted to share a few thoughts on self-compassion. Self-compassion is about practicing gentleness and kindness to yourself. This manifests as more grace and less judgement towards yourself as with awareness of that inner critic and voice, comes the opportunity to reframe the narrative towards what is true.

As we enter the holidays, images abound around us that capture our ideals of how we want holidays to be and look in our homes and lives. Matching dresses, coordinating stockings, gourmet meals, beautifully wrapped presents, and while these things are so lovely, it can be helpful to keep before us what matters most.

I love the concept of presence instead of perfection. When we value presence more, it goes a long way in taking the pressure off and grounding us in what really matters.

As we as a society walk through the pandemic of the Coronavirus, we all face challenges that leave us in a vulnerable place emotionally, mentally, and for many, financially.

While it is hard to imagine that flourishing and thriving are even possible right now when most of us are understandably in a survival mode, there are stances that we can take that put us in a posture of hope and movement forward through this challenging time.

Even speaking and hearing the word “boundaries” brings up a host of reactions in many of us. In fact, many people are simply not comfortable with the term. If it feels awkward to even talk about setting boundaries, it can feel even more difficult to actually set boundaries. Not only can it feel uncomfortable, but for many of us it actually feels mean and heartless to even consider setting a boundary. In this way, the assertive action of setting boundaries often is interpreted as aggression.

In all things, a journey through grief is not easy, linear, or straight-forward. There are days of great darkness, and yet buried in there are often cracks of light.

This invites us to reflect on who are my circles around me? What kind of people do I surround myself with and how do they influence me? Are they kind? Are they trustworthy? Do I feel good about myself when I am with them? Am I accepted, encouraged, and challenged in their presence? Can I be myself?

Adventures, big and small, tend to breathe life into people. While there is such a place for daily routines and predictable rhythms which ground us, there is also a place for adventure.

Many of these life adjustments usher in great joy and gratitude and the knowledge that we do not live stagnant lives as we are ever changing and growing. Yet, some of these adjustments bring on seasons of grief and mourning as we at some point in our journeys find ourselves adjusting to loss and having to say goodbye to a loved one. We also may find ourselves adjusting to realizing some of our dreams have not been realized and that life has taken a different course than we hoped for.

For those in a care-taking role of children, aging parents, or even a spouse or sibling dealing with a disease or disability, the needs are ever around you, always beckoning. In this way, you may find yourself constantly in a stress response yourself--experiencing anxiety and a sense of being overwhelmed almost all the time.