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Let’s Talk About Needs
...If you are listening today and you are in a marriage or a really close relationship with someone and that person's well being matters to you or is a top priority for you, that it is quite a gift to give that person to stop and pause and ask them what do they need?
Friendship in Life Transitions
But anytime someone moves to a new town or goes through any kind of major life change, some of the dynamics that can occur are that there can be a lot of loneliness. And again, even in the best of changes, it can feel so jolting that it's like, Who are my people? Am I alone? Am I connected? How do I feel?
Friendship that Refreshes
A concept that comes up a lot in the counseling world is just really noticing, even in your body, if you feel heavier and weighted down or if you feel lighter. And often with that lighter kind of dynamic comes more of a sense of freedom and more of a sense of encouragement kind of being lifted. And when that happens, it's just such a gift. And so, again, pay attention to your friendships. Which ones because of their kindness, because of their authenticity, because of how much they care for you and how they encourage you, refresh you on a soul level?
Name your values
And also, when we can name what we value the most, it can really help with kind of as a byproduct, really creating some openness and flexibility about the rest. So, for instance, if we value kindness the most in a friend or trustworthiness, then that's going to be a core value that really guides making and deepening friendships. And yet, when our core value is not what brand shoes someone has or what their hair looks like, then there is this openness to, you know, someone whose hair is different than yours, or who wears different kinds of shoes than your child does or than you do. And it's really a beautiful thing.
Held & Free
In reflecting on it, it makes me think about relationships and this concept of safe haven, of nurturing, of security. When our needs are met along those lines and we feel held securely, it really does often create this freedom just to be, because we know our value, we know our worth, we know our voice. And this has so many ramifications across different relationships.