...So if you are somebody who can relate to this dynamic of guilt showing up pretty often for you in your thought narrative, I want to encourage you to get real curious about how it shows up for you, when it shows up for you, what the message is, and if it is something that helps you get back on track with the way you want to live, great. Listen to it, pay attention. If there's something with your morals or something that's dangerous and risky and really not how you want to live, then guilt can be really, really helpful.

But if you are somebody that this is a common dynamic for in terms of your thoughts and your thought patterns—just as you go about your daily life and as you shift from tending to one task and one person and one responsibility to the next, then let's really start to challenge that guilt narrative. Is it motivating you? Is it helpful? Is it encouraging?…

But an element of self-compassion that is not as intuitively known and recognized is that part of what can help encourage us to be more self-compassionate is learning about this process of overidentification and really beginning to challenge it within ourselves when we do it and press more instead of into mindfulness. And what I mean by that and what she really means by that through her research is that many times as people, something happens and we over identify with what it means...

Am I in a season of growth? Am I in a season of adjustment? Am I in a season of grief? Am I in a season of discipline, perhaps, or just transition…? Am I in a season of loneliness where I really long for more connections? Am I in a season of abundance, where things are going really well and there's just a lot to enjoy, but it's a fast pace? So in this, I just want to encourage you to, similarly to the literal seasons, to name the season you're in in a larger sense. What is this time like for you? And when you can name what it's like, you're validating your internal world and your experience…

…If the message that is looping in your head is a message of anxiety telling you to avoid something that's actually healthy for you, good for you, that's something that you want in your life, but you're avoiding it because that anxiety message is so strong, then consider really writing it down, typing it out, externalizing it, and connecting it with anxiety's voice and see if that creates some distance for you. Sometimes just that shift alone is so significant that it can help you really begin to work towards that claiming of a more true narrative.

And so my hope would be today that if you are someone who can very much relate to, yes, I have that scarcity mindset, then take notice. Where does it show up in your life? Is it about your body? Is it about your finances? Is it about your home, your profession, your parenting, your personality? And by noticing it and being cognizant that you naturally maybe go to that thought narrative, then you're in a position to intentionally consider what is it about these pictures or this other person's story that I'm hearing that's maybe a longing for me, and I can name that and I can notice it.

Just as that is one dimension, we also have this other dimension of meaning making, even in the hardest of times of beginning to ask the question—okay, given this reality, what brings joy or hope or any kind of meaning to this holiday season? What makes it feel more bearable? What sparks some light, kind of like opening a door or lifting a shade to a window? What brings light into this holiday season for me or what might bring it into this holiday season for my family?