And a lot of our life is like this. We look for the negative. We look for what's not going well, what hurts us, what pains us. And while it is important to name those things and to make space for those things, we don't want to fixate our gaze, in a sense, in our minds, only on those things without grounding ourselves in the wider narrative so that we also take in what we're thankful for, what we're grateful for, noticing often through the lens of small things, the things that sustain us, the things that bring delight, the places in our life where we can say, “I have enough and it is good, and thank you, and I'm grateful.”

So if the narrative in your mind is accusatory, is condemning, is harsh, is extremely critical, that's more of that self-judgment. It's not really helpful. And it takes something that's already hard, the event itself or the emotion itself or the circumstance, and it makes it so much harder because of the state it can kind of bring a person into when whereas self-compassion through self kindness is going to be more graceful, more forgiving, and it doesn't mean that you have to justify everything as no big deal…There still can be a true admittance of “I made a mistake or I didn't handle that in a way that I value or the way that I want.” But the message, the narrative is more about kindness, forgiveness, grace, and kind of a new day mindset…it's less all or nothing. All is not lost. And so it encourages someone to keep, keep striving and keep going and not lose hope.