…In that realm, there is a dynamic of feeling like you have some agency over your own life. Whether that's in the workplace, whether that's in a marriage or dating type relationship, whether that's in a friendship, whether that's in your family of being a sibling or a daughter or a son or a parent, or all of the above, that you get to speak into your life. Meaning when something is not okay with you, you can say that. And ideally you have people in your life who will hear your voice and respect it too…

…Yet sometimes with stress and anxiety and often perfectionism or a lot of pressure to get it right and to have this perfect image, we can move towards a realm of overfunctioning. And what that means is that it's not really about working hard or showing up or valuing excellence or great work ethic or anything like that. It's more about moving into a realm of having to be all things at all times or perfect at all times or to rescue, instead of really recognizing that we all have limits and that it's okay to do the best you can…

I hope that it's encouraging for anyone listening who has tried counseling before and it wasn't a great experience. It may be that the relationship wasn't what it needed to be. And does that mean you have to write off counseling altogether? Or is it possible that there could be a better connection with a different counselor?

But this question is really asking about where am I taking on extra weight when it's not mine to carry? Where am I feeling extra responsibility or burden to fix something or to change something or to solve something?